How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Randomize