I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize