Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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