I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
