we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
