Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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