Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
