Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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