i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
