Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
