You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
I stole a fireplace last night.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
