hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
the raccoons are back...
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