Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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