Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize