Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
we should paint friendship bongs
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