There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
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