Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
