brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Randomize
