btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
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