TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
