ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
