Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
