forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
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