At least make sure they are 18
Why
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Randomize
