I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
what day is it and did you see me today?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
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