he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
Randomize
