I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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