just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
