Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
