and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
