i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
MIDGETS
????
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
