I accidentally had phone sex last night
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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