Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
