she was so not down for the gang bang
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
Randomize
