I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
