Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I'm gonna have a badass scar
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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