So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize