So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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