garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
pop tarts are not kleenex
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
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