Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
