Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
