I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
