Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
