You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
