Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He literally chugged a bottle of wine in under 2 minutes. Stood up, said "fuck what ya heard" and stabbed the bottle into their drywall.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
