I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
