why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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