dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
