Jerry, you need to find god
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
Rumble strips road head = magical
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
