I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
