Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
