I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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