i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
Randomize
