It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
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