Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize