idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
This is the high leading the old right now
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
