Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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