lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
