I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
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