Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize