he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
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