I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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