that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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