i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Randomize
