also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
