I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize