If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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