so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
He better not be in your backpack
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
Randomize
