oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
she peed on how many people?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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