Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Randomize
