Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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