When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
