you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I could fuck to npr.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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