btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
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